![]() So do not segregate parts of your sexuality as “no big deal.” Your entire body is an infinitely big deal, and this includes your kisses. Are they a way to repay a guy for a nice evening? Are they a solution to boredom on a date? Are they a way to cover up hurts or loneliness? Even worse, are they merely for “harmless” fun? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then we have forgotten the purpose of a kiss and the meaning of intimacy. But isn’t there something in you that wants it to be a big deal? The more of ourselves we give away, the less we value the gift of our body and our entire self (and people will respond by treating us with less respect as well).Īsk yourself what your kisses are worth. Nevertheless, some say that passionate make-out sessions are no big deal and they don’t mean anything. Angelic purity is easier to live out than 50 percent purity, because you’re not constantly teasing yourself. These couples want to sit on the fence and keep some sexual intimacy while avoiding going “too far.” But they’re realizing that men and women are not made to work that way. They have stirred up that desire, and they are finding that such desires are not easily tamed once they are awakened. I often receive e-mails from abstinent couples who say that they really love each other and want to stay pure, but they keep falling again and again into the same sexual sins. ![]() ![]() Otherwise, one of them may end up hearing the same thing this girl did: “My boyfriend and I don’t go any further than making out, but recently he said to me after we were kissing, ‘Don’t you ever just get. Perhaps they will stop the first, second, or third time, but gradually the old boundaries will be pushed back because they begin to experience the intoxicating bonding power that God has in store for couples in marriage. In the one case, sexual arousal will become routine, and the couple will begin to justify new forms of physical intimacy. But when a couple have passionate make-out sessions and try to draw the line there, one of two things will eventually happen: either the original boundaries will disappear, or frustration will set in. He might be content for some time with just kissing. Sensual reactions in guys tend to be more immediate, and when the flame of sexual arousal is ignited, a man often wants to go further. If a woman’s arousal could be compared to an iron heating up, a guy’s could be compared to a light bulb. I believe that the moral problem with making out is harder for girls to understand, because they tend to be aroused sexually in a more gradual way than guys. For the couple that is saving sex for marriage, passionate kissing is like a fifteen-year-old sitting in a car in his driveway, revving up the engine while keeping the car in park because he knows he does not have the license to drive. Therefore, this type of kissing teases the body with desires that cannot be morally satisfied outside of marriage. This passionate kissing tells a man’s body that it should prepare for intercourse, and when a man is aroused, generally he is not satisfied until he is relieved. Making out is deeply unitive, since the penetration of one person into another is part of becoming one with him or her physically. But I have met women who act surprised when they find out that a man is sexually aroused by passionate kissing (or before then). I used to take for granted that everyone knew that making out is sexually arousing, especially for a guy.
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